so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
