We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
