He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
