can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Randomize
