Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
That reminds me...we need to get swords
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
