I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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