You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
