Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
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Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
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You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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