I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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