So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
