I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Randomize
