So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
