i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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