you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I want her autograph on my taint
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
