I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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