So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize