I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
