Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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