the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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