Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Randomize
