please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
