You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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