Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize