Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
