To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
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