So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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