Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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