Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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