I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
