Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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