i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Randomize
