dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
