I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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