i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
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