let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
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He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
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I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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