this boner is exhausting
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Randomize
