Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
