I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
