eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
