I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
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