I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
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