how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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