everyone is single if you try hard enough
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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