2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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