Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
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