i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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