I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
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