Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
he shaved USA in his pubs
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
