You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
