i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
there is glitter all over my balls
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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