Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize