Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Randomize