I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
