Got a toothbrush?
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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