Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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