so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
